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Random Joke Generator  (View post)

David Hetfield [PersonRank 10]

Friday, December 8, 2006
12 years ago8,835 views

<< A Heavy Metal fan walks into a empty bar.
Says the Heavy Metal fan, “Give me two masks please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Can you pay for it, too?”
Says the Heavy Metal fan, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m French.” >>

didnt get it.. :/

BTW, you know youre messing with the Metal community Philipp :P
just kidding :)

Mathias Schindler [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

The funny thing is that these jokes aren't less funny than the average jokes I usually hear... :(

Ringelnatz [PersonRank 1]

12 years ago #

My favorite so far:

A naked man walks into a shabby hut.
Says the naked man, “Give me two phone books please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Do I know you?”
Says the naked man, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m Italian.”

Ionut Alex. Chitu [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meta-jok ...

Jake's View [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

A ______ walks into a_____.
Says the _________, “Give me two _________ please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “____”
Says the _________, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m ________.”

David Hetfield [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

[put at-character here]Jake
it is generated.. after all

Ionut Alex. Chitu [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

A #Person# walks into a #Place#.
Says the #Person#, “Give me two #Things# please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “#StupidQuestion#”
Says the #Person#, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m #DoingSomething#.”

Jake's View [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

I know.

Tony Ruscoe [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

A blogger walks into a night club.
Says the blogger, “Give me two glasses please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “What the ...?!”
Says the blogger, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m it's painless.”

<< I’m it's painless. >>

I don't get it! :-D

paxik [PersonRank 1]

12 years ago #

A dude dressed in a black robe walks into a kitchen.
Says the dude dressed in a black robe, “Give me two iPods please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “You take the extra-large size?”
Says the dude dressed in a black robe, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m alone.”

I kinda like that. You know what my favourite is, though?

A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

And also:

I once walked into the bar... Man, I really hurt my nose that day!

I hope these are still funny in English:)

Mrrix32 [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

Weekdays now with extra legs
<<A weekday walks into a store.
Says the weekday, “Give me two cowboy hats please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Do I know you?”
Says the weekday, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m alone.”>>

and just a strange one
<<A king walks into a McDonald's.
Says the king, “Give me two women please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Only if you lower your voice!”
Says the king, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m scared, too.”>>

Not from this site but a great JBJotD:
<<Okay, there is this piece of butter, okay. And he thinks, "Im not doing very well in life so I really want to start making ends meet and progressing."
So he jumps onto half a slice of bread and he thinks, "Oh yeah, this is quite good, this half a slice of bread. But I still think I could do better in life."
So he jumps onto a full slice of bread. "This is amazing," he thinks. "Im really living the high life." But he thinks, "I could still go further."
So he jumps unto a slice of toast and, "This is a very, very comfortable slice of toast." Its just like absolute luxury. But he thinks, "I could still go further in life," so he jumps onto the next thing.
And by now hes thinking, "Okay, Ive lived a very good life, I think its about time I wrapped everything up," and he starts to walk away, but his friend calls out, "Oh no, dont stop now. Youre on a roll.">>

Dmitri [PersonRank 1]

12 years ago #

A headless man walks into a club.
Says the headless man, “Give me two glasses please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Put away the gun first.”
Says the headless man, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m 16 years old.”

Michael Keukert [PersonRank 1]

12 years ago #

A robot walks into a shabby hut.
Says the robot, “Give me two iPods please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “We only serve bearded people.”
Says the robot, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m gay.”

That has almost haiku quality. It's at least eccentric, if not dadaistic.

Michael Keukert [PersonRank 1]

12 years ago #

Oh, this one almost makes sense:

A Heavy Metal fan walks into a whore house.
Says the Heavy Metal fan, “Give me two women please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Just two?”
Says the Heavy Metal fan, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m working tomorrow.”

Brock [PersonRank 0]

12 years ago #

Random non sequitur generator, more like.

Eric Cranston [PersonRank 3]

12 years ago #

Somone should base a startup on joke generating technology....Yahoo would buy it.

Brock [PersonRank 0]

12 years ago #

A queen walks into a empty bar.
Says the queen, “Give me two tissues please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “No way!”
Says the queen, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m straight.”

-----------------------------------------

Assuming the guy behind the counter thought that this was a non-straight queen, what did he think the queen wanted those two tissues for?

Brock [PersonRank 0]

12 years ago #

A woman dressed in blue walks into a liquor store.
Says the woman dressed in blue, “Give me two Playboy magazines please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Just two?”
Says the woman dressed in blue, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m German.”

Philipp Lenssen [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

> "I'm it's painless."

Heh. Fixed :)

Mischa [PersonRank 1]

12 years ago #

<<A Heavy Metal fan walks into a jail.
Says the Heavy Metal fan, “Give me two coffee please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “I'll give you something else.”
Says the Heavy Metal fan, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m lost.”>>

HAHA!

Michael Schaap [PersonRank 3]

12 years ago #

It works better with mission statements.

dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/gam ...

L?L [PersonRank 0]

12 years ago #

A weekday walks into a kitchen.
Says the weekday, “Give me two antennas please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Coming up, sir.”
Says the weekday, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m straight.”

Mathias Schindler [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

A queen walks into a liquor store.
Says the queen, “Give me two beers please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “No.”
Says the queen, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m 16 years old.”

That's not comedy, that's tragic.

Stefan [PersonRank 0]

12 years ago #

A god-like being walks into a club.
Says the god-like being, “Give me two coffee please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “We only serve bearded people.”
Says the god-like being, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m with my mom, she's waiting outside.”

Yo Momma's beard is so long ...

Stefan [PersonRank 0]

12 years ago #

Thats a good one to:
A god-like being walks into a whore house.
Says the god-like being, “Give me two masks please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “I'll give you something else.”
Says the god-like being, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m drunk.”

Let's apply a digg-like rating to the script and you'll end up with sime moderate jokes :)

pjh [PersonRank 1]

12 years ago #

This one certainly makes sense:

A man walks into a store.
Says the man, “Give me two whisky please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Put away the gun first.”
Says the man, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m going to kill you anyway.”

David Hetfield [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

lol..
thats the first joke ive laughed of.. :)

TKDWILSON [PersonRank 1]

12 years ago #

This one made since, and it somewhat funny,

A man walks into a whore house.
Says the man, “Give me two chairs please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “I don't like your face.”
Says the man, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m insured.”

Eric Wilson

Sam Davyson [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

A man walks into a McDonald's.
Says the man, “Give me two women please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “We don't sell those.”
Says the man, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m gay.”

Jake's View [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

A snobby princess walks into a shabby hut.
Says the snobby princess, “Give me two cowboy hats please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Coming up, sir.”
Says the snobby princess, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m married.”

Sir?

Jake's View [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

My favorite so far:

A man walks into a bar.
Says the man, “Give me two Lord of the Rings DVDs please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Coming up, sir.”
Says the man, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m dead already.”

yhancik [PersonRank 2]

12 years ago #

it would also be fun to assemble parts of jokes found on Google via the API ;)

David Hetfield [PersonRank 10]

12 years ago #

[put at-character here]Sam...
that was a good one..
pretty funny i must say

pjh [PersonRank 1]

12 years ago #

A woman walks into a Starbucks.
Says the woman, “Give me two paintings please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “I don't like your face.”
Says the woman, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m Canadian.”

Poor Canadians :(

Leslie [PersonRank 0]

12 years ago #

A man dressed in red walks into a crowded night club.
Says the man dressed in red, “Give me two men please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “You take the extra-large size?”
Says the man dressed in red, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m French.”

incognito [PersonRank 1]

12 years ago #

A superhero walks into a night club.
Says the superhero, “Give me two women please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Can you take two?”
Says the superhero, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m dead already.”

incognito [PersonRank 1]

12 years ago #

A man dressed in red walks into a Starbucks.
Says the man dressed in red, “Give me two red wine please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Can you take two?”
Says the man dressed in red, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m with my mom, she's waiting outside.”

Ha..ha..
-------------------------------------------------------------

A skeleton walks into a shabby hut.
Says the skeleton, “Give me two skeletons please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “No way!”
Says the skeleton, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m still single.”

Threesome Skellys!
--------------------------------------------------------------

A blogger walks into a McDonald's.
Says the blogger, “Give me two red wine please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Just two?”
Says the blogger, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m scared, too.”

Ah, Sarcasm...
-------------------------------------------------------------

A queen walks into a whore house.
Says the queen, “Give me two Playboy magazines please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Why?”
Says the queen, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m alone.”

Well, well, Queeny... :P

-------------------------------------------------------------

A naked man walks into a Starbucks.
Says the naked man, “Give me two Playboy magazines please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “No way!”
Says the naked man, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m gay.”

Some stuff just make sense, don't they? ;)

incognito [PersonRank 1]

12 years ago #

A man walks into a club.
Says the man, “Give me two men please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Only if you pay double”
Says the man, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m gay.”

o_O

-------------------------------------------------------------

A god-like being walks into a club.
Says the god-like being, “Give me two beers please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “We don't serve at this hour.”
Says the god-like being, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m not carrying a gun.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

A woman walks into a club.
Says the woman, “Give me two Playboy magazines please.”
Says the guy behind the counter, “Just two?”
Says the woman, “Oh, that’s fine, I’m drunk.”

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