Google Blogoscoped

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Froogle 2020

What does the future hold in store? Here we will take a sneak peak at Google’s shopping search engine Froogle as it presents product results in the year 2020...

Searching for “Glasses”

$58.99 - Sight Solutions
This ultra stable pair of hi-tec specs implements latest BBR (Brutal Behavior Recognition) to shield you from seeing evil. If a big wild dog is jumping around, or someone on the street is robbing someone else, or people dress really lousy and aggressive, the C-No-Evil glasses immediately react by recreating possible background patterns on the obscene object – thus rendering it invisible. Also available as C-No-Dirt (kid size) and SocioPath add-on (hides all humans).


Searching for “Cooking”

Cooking Companion
$35.39 - KitchenNeeds Inc.
This friendly iron-cast cooking pot not only does everything other pots do, it will also help you fine-tune your meals. A big front display lets you choose your dish of the day to then guide you through the cooking process. Dynamic alerts like “needs more salt” make sure your family will never complain about food again.


Searching for “Watch”

$25.00 - Micronerds Global
Of course this stainless steel case watch tells time, weather, appointments and traffic. Added to that WristWatchMate gives you a smile throughout the day and is always available for a chat when you feel lonely or misunderstood. Available in personalities Cranky New Yorker, Happy Babbler, Right-Wing Pundit and Bozo the Clown (kid size only).


Searching for “Bowl”

FortuneTeller 3000
$159.99 - Psychohistory Products
This glass bowl borrows its design from ancient mythology, but its inner core is stuffed with modern technology. Explain your current situation to the FortuneTeller 3000 and it will calculate the outcome using mathematical formulas (99% proven reliability) and guide you through your future actions. Great for solving and preventing conflicts, and finally someone to rely on other than yourself.


Searching for “Screen”

$99.00 (Subscription) - NewNewsNow
This digital newspaper screen folds firmly in your hands wherever you go and is easily disposable if you get bored by it. However the included 1-year subscription to our global breaking news providers – as well as the fully personalized content – will make sure there’s nothing boring to read on DigiNews. New in this version is the CLA (Complexity Level Adjustment) which lets you choose how many details and political background individual news stories include.


Searching for “Dishes”

$499.00 - Asimov Robotics
Unlike other robots, Hubby can emulate your husband when he’s working overtime. Hubby needs a one-week training to listen to the chatter of your husband when he returns home – and is then able to copy this chatter next time he’s not home. You won’t notice the difference, plus Hubby never has a bad day and helps do the dishes.


Site-Flavored Google Search

Google starts offering Site-Flavored search results. If you run a web site this gives you the chance to set your preferred topics (like “Internet”, “Multimedia”, and so on) and offer the resulting specialized search box to your visitors. It’s a bit like sharing with others the personal search feature Google made available a while ago. Now here’s my search box for you, and I focussed it on interests close to this blog:


Let’s say you enter “radio” in normal Google. You would get web radio stations or the homepage of BBC radio. Enter “radio” in above box, and the first result would be for blog network Radio Userland.
Enter “slash” in Google and the number one will be the rock star’s site; in the flavored search above, the same search would put news-for-geeks site Slashdot on top.


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