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Instead of Words  (View post)

"-" [PersonRank 1]

Monday, August 29, 2005
18 years ago

But the affirmations, statements, and words of reassurance are not meant negatively, nor do they provide any insurance that people will not change their minds, forget, or die.

Nice piece of writing. I'm not saying that because I'm unsure, or insecure, or think that you are, but because ...

it is.


Cluny Grey [PersonRank 0]

18 years ago #

Thanks for posting this. I'll be thinking about it all night (I mean that in a good way). Cluny

Riyaz [PersonRank 0]

18 years ago #

Interesting. Thinking a while, I realised this is true for my own native language (in South India). Its not that we are so dependant, loving or anything, but somehow we do not have proper words for Hello, Thankyou and Sorry. There are some words used in formal annoucements only. And people use English words in common. Similarly, I dont think couples proclaim and reassure "I Love you" in many geographies. Not just in our place.

Anyway it was an interesting thought.

Nevertheless, I believe these words are good – as we are no longer living as tribes, depending on each other.. so we do need these. These simple words reassure and pacify many relationships

Jan [PersonRank 0]

18 years ago #

> Nevertheless, I believe these words are
> good – as we are no longer living as tribes,
> depending on each other.. so we do need
> these. These simple words reassure and
> pacify many relationships

I absouletely agree.

Reena [PersonRank 1]

18 years ago #

I agree with Riyaz "simple words reassure and pacify many relationships" . But we should mean it. For instance if you make a mistake and you say sorry, make sure that you are really sorry and do not repeat the same mistake again. Just the way the tribe does.

werner [PersonRank 0]

18 years ago #

I remember you mentioning the essence of this article last week when we were at the Thai restaurant.

Funny 'coinincidence' that you decided to post this today, even more so, since I entered a very similar posting on my blog on the weekend: (where similar is meant with regard to the essence of human relationships).

Can that be taken as an indication that indeed human beings are – to some degree and by ways we haven't fully and scientfically explored yet – 'interconnected' in a way? (Where I intentionally avoided the term 'telepathy', since it might produce too much prejudice against that concept).

Interesting read, though – one I'm best advised to remember...

Teacher Richard [PersonRank 0]

18 years ago #

In the case of family, I can understand the deferrence of such words as "Hello", "Good bye" and so on and I also understand that some societies don't have translations for such words, but just because we do dosn't by no means say "We are not a close nit family" so in this case I would like to argue the point you make about insecurity.
I love my wife very much and when I wake ever morning I affirm that love by saying " I love you sweetheart" needless to say what tgranspires as it is personal; my point here is I say what I say not to remember vthat I love her nor do I say it to help her to remember, I say it because it is an indisputable fact and that there is so many falsehoods out there.
I would also like to point out that I nor my wife do not feel that if it was not said that the roof would cave in, we beleive that not only the showing, of our love for each other, but the saying of the words are important because it helps those around us see and here that love and kindness are alive and well on this crazy planet we call home.
You say this mans father showed no emotional responce to his return and neither did his mother; well I say what a cold and dark place this must be in order to see no emotional reactions umong their society.
Or, possible, the man himself saw no emotion, because he himself didn't or was not willing to look for it.
It saddens me when I see that people are afraid to show their emotions even though we have no real need to show them as they are ours, but I beleive by "" Wearing my heart on my sleave"" I say to the world no matter what the culture that I am open to listen and understand as well as be hurt by anyone wishing to do such a cruel thing.
Your probable saying around-a-bout now "this guy is really insecure" and thats okay but think before you say it out loud, "is he or is that I am the insecure one".
Thank you, for listening or reading my ramblings, I truely hope I offended anuone culture.

skeptic [PersonRank 1]

18 years ago #

Hmmm, like a lot of folk linguistics, this one smells too much like one of the "noble savage" schools of thought ("they're so in tune with each other they don't need to use words!") Like the 26 different Eskimo words for snow, I'd heap this tall tale on the folk myth pile....

Your [PersonRank 0]

17 years ago #

perspective is skewed by the language you use. don't assume that they're closer, or keep each other in their thoughts all day. I would suggest, though i have no basis to do so, that it's more akin to a high level of comfort that each relationship is rock-solid and immutable, hence there's no need for continual expressions of such.

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