Sorrows of a Young Man

The sorrows of a young man in the city, being a palimpsest of Goethe's Werther.

Friday, August 08, 2003

It's really magic

I'm living happy days, and I think whoever won the jackpot lately can't be feeling any better. Whatever will happen to me in the future... now I can say that at one time I was the luckiest guy on earth.
The hillside bar I used to hang out and wander, what a coincidence... just half an hour away from her, and little did I know that place was so close to heaven. I'm feeling one with me up there, like the whole thing was made for me, and made to make me feel great.

I was thinking how it's just like... at times, people strive for something new, getting curious and out of their ways. And then, they're going back to their old habits, continue to live day by day, without caring about anything around them.

It's really magic to get up there, sit down, take a look at the cityscape, feel the movement below. The heat, the noise... and then you want to get back to join all the busy people stroll concrete streets. It's just when you get back downtown, then you won't be finding what you saw from afar. A place from a distance is just like the future. When we can see the whole thing, when it starts to blur before of our eyes, we want to jump right into it, get naked and swim around in it. Yeah, but as soon as we get there... when there becomes here, then everything's just like before. Then there we're standing, all naked, and our whole body's wishing we would've taken along some clothes.

So even the biggest traveller's getting homesick... wants to go back to his apartment, sit down on the couch smooching the dear wife, pat little son and daughter's head, go back to work, the daily business. Just get back to all the stuff that couldn't be found out there, in the big wide world with all the strange places.

When I walk around in the afternoon with the music in my ears, walk to the pizza place and sit down... I'm getting my Tabasco, turn up the volume, stuff myself with greasy cheese and dripping tomato sauce. Then I take out a silly comic book and start to flip the pages. I tell you, I feel just one with the waitress bringing me the pizza, and the cook doing the greasy cheese, it all feels so down-to-earth good. Without affection.. god, it just gets me.

It's really good that I'm able to enjoy the simple things. Staring at the waitress and people around, and whatever they mumble in grief or chatter in ecstasy, 'cause things make a difference to them. And what their boss was shouting at them this morning, or which customer complained... the late-night show punch-line, that car honking without reason, and the size of the pigeon corpse blocking their sidewalk. Yeah, it makes me feel good to see people care about stuff.

[It's really magic]

It was still raining

I think I forgot to tell what happened later. (I was too tired to write, and I don't think I have the time now... telling you the details would probably take up all of your time anyway.)

Well, I took her home. And some of the others as well, they fell asleep in the car. It was still raining. One of them asked me if I could still drive, and I said, "As long as I can keep my eyes open it's OK." We arrived at her home, and everybody inside was sleeping. I asked if I could see her again next day, and she said yes, and I was there... and since then, sun, moon and stars and everything can go about their business... I don't care if it's night or day and I lost track of the world around me.

[It was still raining]


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