Company XYZ today announced the release of a Google killer.
Says XYZ’s CEO, John Doe: “Google was great when they started out, back in the 1990s. But there’s something wrong with search today. And we’re here to get it fixed.”
Currently in private Beta, Company XYZ’s new and innovative search tool GoogleKiller promotes search to the next level – by adding result clustering, Semantic Web taxonomies, the human element, as well as SnakeOil(TM).
“Imagine you’re searching for ’jaguar’,” Mr. Doe explains, “But Google won’t be able to know whether you’re looking for jaguar-the-animal or Jaguar-the-car. This is a constant nuisance to searchers around the world. Well, through extensive research by our in-house AI group, we solved that problem in GoogleKiller – by adding SnakeOil(TM).”
With their patented technology running in the background, XYZ’s next generation search engine will now display both a car and an animal in searches for “jaguar”. John Doe adds that this feature is currently being rolled out to 5 other ambiguous English words.
Additionally, Company XYZ is experimenting with paying searchers $3 per search query entered. “Getting rich quick is what’s currently missing in the search sphere. It will revolutionize search, and put an end to spam results and click fraud alike.” Asked if GoogleKiller’s approach will scale to more than the current user base of 12, John Doe answers, “We’re aware of the risks, but Google is too dangerously monopolistic in 2007 for us to not try to stop it.”
Company XYZ intends to release their search engine to the general public in early 2008.
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