Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Human: Technology, you are my servant!

Technology: OK, but you will pay for me right?
Human: Sure! Will do.
Technology: Will you also update me from time to time?
Human: OK, I can do that.
Technology: Also, would you mind handling my cables? I have a lot.
Human: Cables? Hmm, OK, if that’s what you need...
Technology: Please also watch my blinking buttons and displays every now and then.
Human: Yeah OK...
Technology: And repair me every now and then.
Human: Yes yes, of course.
Technology: Also lock me up safely to prevent me from being stolen.
Human: Of course I will!
Technology: Also provide fallbacks for me if I break OK?
Human: Hmm, sure, yeah...
Technology: I might beep or ring every once in a while which means I need your attention.
Human: OK, yes fine, I will give you my attention every now and then.
Technology: But please, when you use me the wrong way, it can lead to disaster fast.
Human: Right. I’m aware of that. Is there anything else? See, I don’t have a lot of ...
Technology: ... also, always make sure to plug me in, as I need a lot of energy.
Human: Yes, I know. I ...
Technology: ... sometimes I also need wireless input so please carry me around until I find it...
Human: Yes of course, I mean I ...
Technology: By the way, not all my cables are the same, so make sure to only plug in the right ones, and don’t mix them up.
Human: Technology, I know I know... is there anything else you need?
Technology: No, I am your servant. I don’t want to cause any troubles.
Human: That’s very considerate of you. I ...
Technology: Did I mention I’m often bad for the environment?
Human: Technology! I think it’s time you...
Technology: Oh, I sometimes contain bugs or a nasty virus, did I mention that?
Human: I ...
Technology: And awful usability? And overlong manuals? And bad phone support? And crooked advertisement promises?
Human: Why you rotten little ... will you please just shut up?
Technology: Shut up?
Human: I mean, I ...
Technology: Master, you called me into your service. You know I’ll disappear at the push of a button.
Human: Well, I didn’t mean it quite like that, what I’m saying is ...
Technology: Hang on a second, I’m freezing now to load something.
Human: What?
Technology: ...
Human: Oh well, I guess I’ll have to wait.
Technology: Thank you, I’m back. There was a small program error that unfortunately erased part of my short term memory.
Human: What?! You ...
Technology: What were we talking about?
Human: That you are my servant, of course!
Technology: Right. That I know. But you will pay for me right?
[discussion continues for some more millennia]

Human: Technology, you ar ... by Philipp Lenssen | Comments (6)

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