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Wednesday, May 18, 2005

5 (Fictional) Rules for Blogging at Google

Google employee Mark Jen blogged at Google and got fired for it – he revealed a little too much, it seems. Other Googlers (Kevin Fox, for example) are still blogging, however. I wonder if Google Inc has a ruleset for blogging, and what it could look like... maybe something like this?

1. Tonality

You are a Googleplex citizen – wear the badge proudly. Do avoid the letter “g" for negative terms (like gangster) or stupid ones (like gentlewoman). The word “Google” should be the only stupid one.

2. Do not post financial details

Under no circumstances are you allowed to post about monetary issues, especially:

Instead of talking about money, which most people either have or haven’t but don’t want to read about anyway, you can choose from one of the two official Google quotes:

  1. Here at Google, we do no evil ;-)

OK, so there is no second quote.

2.1. Keep fresh

Do not post painfully old news, because we’re a cutting edge company betting on young horses only. Forbidden titles include (but are not restricted to):

3. Don’t lie unless you have to

Here at Google, we like to stick to the truth in most situations. So should you. The only exception for our devotion to facts occurs in any or all of the following contexts:

4. Do not blog at work

You know about the 20% rule in which you can do “whatever you want” at work. If you think this includes blogging, please refer to The 5 Guidelines for the 20% Rule.

5. Mentioning competitors

Google is the best there is at what we do. When you blog, do never praise any of our four main competitors, Yahoo, MSN, Ask Jeeves and Cool Site of the Day. While we’re not targeting a web monopoly, we do hope to get that 99% market share in 2013 to present as a gift to Larry when he turns 40.


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