Google Blogoscoped

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Top 10 Software Euphemisms

[Image Creative Commons Licensed by Celebdu]

  1. What the program says: Welcome to the Quality Feedback Agent.
    What the program means: Your browser just crashed. Hope you weren’t in the middle of a money transfer.
  2. What the program says: Our software is currently trying to recover the document you tried to open.
    What the program means: Yesterday when you hit the Save button while writing, we messed up and lost the novel you’re working on.
  3. What the program says: The web page you are trying to view contains possibly insecure elements. Proceed anyway?
    What the program means: Dude, you wanna watch porn so badly you don’t mind about this virus?
  4. What the program says: The program detected a rare exception.
    What the program means: The program made a known error that was too costly to fix during development.
  5. What the program says: A fatal exception 0E has occurred at 0028.
    What the program means: Your computer just crashed. We’re clueless too.
  6. What the program says: The video file you’re buying is enhanced by Windows Media Player technology to play for sure.
    What the program means: You might be a thief, so just in case, we made sure you can’t do much with the video you bought.
  7. What the program says: Sorry, this file format is not supported!
    What the program means: Due to competition with another vendor we started to boycott this format and just invented our own!
  8. What the program says: We’re releasing this site as public Beta to offer you an early look and incorporate your feedback.
    What the program means: My boss said the deadline is Friday, so here goes.
  9. What the program says: Our new software version includes a vast array of great features.
    What the program means: Our competitor released a version 9 of their software, so marketing said we’re gonna do the same.
  10. What the program says: Changing this setting may seriously damage your system. Are you sure?
    What the program means: Nerds, click “yes.”


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