Google Blogoscoped

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Top 10 Website Euphemisms

  1. What the site says: Under Construction
    What the site means: Check back in a decade. Or later.
  2. What the site says: Please wait while loading...
    What the site means: Our underpaid programmers realized too late this thing won’t scale.
  3. What the site says: We’re still in Beta.
    What the site means: Don’t write bad press reviews yet.
  4. What the site says: This site is optimized for Netscape Navigator.
    What the site means: We haven’t updated this page since 1997. How the heck did you locate us?
  5. What the site says: Please login to continue!
    What the site means: Management says we get a bonus if we acquire more than 5,000 addresses!
  6. What the site says: This article is subscription-only.
    What the site means: Please help, we’re still trying to figure out how to make money online.
  7. What the site says: This document cannot be found.
    What the site means: We hired a new agency which restructured all our pages, thereby depriving 31,000 visitor bookmarks of their value.
  8. What the site says: Please contact us with your feedback.
    What the site means: Just so you won’t go anywhere else with your anger, please send it straight to our trash can.
  9. What the site says: We are strongly committed to protect your privacy.
    What the site means: On our Christmas party, when we read out loud the e-card you sent to your secret affair, we close the outside doors.
  10. What the site says: You can personalize this website.
    What the site means: For no reason at all, we allow you to change the background colors here. Whoopie!


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