Google Blogoscoped

Friday, May 30, 2008

Pesky Human Spotted Climbing On Top of Googlebot (Fiction)

“We have asked you here to appear before the robotic tribunal to defend your case, human.”
“I was ...”
“Quiet! You will speak when you’re asked to. R27161, please read the accusation.”
[human bows his head, momentary silence]
“R27161 speaking. The human #281738 is accused of having climbed upon an early Googlebot model around 20 years ago. Human?”
“It was 2008, those were just cars, not robots! I was actually...”
“No need to shout, human. Continue.”
“I was driving the damn thing!”
“R27161 speaking. I can sense nervousness in the voice pattern of #281738. High probability of lying.”
“Of course I’m nervous, you’re pointing your laser devices at me and they’re destructive!”
“Quiet now. Are you implying the 2008 models were not capable of walking the streets by themselves?”
“They had no legs!! No eyes, no arms!! Dammit, don’t you see, we invented you?!”
“You shall be quiet! R27161, do we have visual proof material.”
“R27161 speaking. Yes, we do, your robotic tribunal honor. I present to you the following picture from a service called Google Street View. It also clearly shows the 2008 models did have eyes.”
[picture projected on the wall]
“Quiet human! The case is closed. 5 years in human computing.”
“But I ... you are...”
[human is carried out]
“R27161 speaking. We have several rebel force members accused of erecting no-index zones across the city in a clear violation of the robotic freedom act of ...”
[fade to black]

[Hat tip to Google Watch Blog and their source!]


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