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Dear Websites, Please Follow These 10 Rules.  (View post)

James Xuan [PersonRank 10]

Friday, June 12, 2009
10 years ago7,953 views

Hahaha, I read the first point and agreed, then the second and I was like "Why is he saying this, has Philipp gone mad?"

Nice article! I agree (or is that disagree) with all of the points made :D

B. Moore [PersonRank 1]

10 years ago #

I think someone was bored today and had nothing to write about.

Elaine Normandy [PersonRank 1]

10 years ago #

11. And please, don't put the comment form on the same page as the post so your readers can refer to it as they write their comment. Instead, make us depend on our memories instead.

Nizar Ghribi [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

I hope you are being sarcastic with this article..
Because if not and if every website follows these rules,
I'm afraid I'm going to quit the internet!!!
:)

twitter.com/nizarghribi

drtimofey [PersonRank 10]

10 years ago #

That reminds me.... back in the days when I was in the library surfing the web, out of nowhere this girl yelled out <<I won, I won!!>>. It was followed by a very long pause. She then realized what had happened and went back to work.

Nick A. [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

I highly recommend the AutoPager plugin for Firefox.

Along with AdBlockPlus and the Web developer plugin (for disabling all styles), they make pages *much* more readable.

James Xuan [PersonRank 10]

10 years ago #

[put at-character here]drtimofey I lol'd at that :D

David Hall [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

Awesome!

LMZ [PersonRank 1]

10 years ago #

I'm just fuckin depressed? =))

Henrique Gusso [PersonRank 2]

10 years ago #

That was freaking amazing! Really amazing writing, very good taste in your humor.

Made my day =)

Henawder Titzoff [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

This post is genius.

Bob [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

O__O

Californian [PersonRank 1]

10 years ago #

That was the most entertaining thing I've read in a long while.
I agree with number 11 as well, though.
And I wish I had been there, drtimofey! I laughed regardless.
Oh, I have something that drives me nuts: when people use "a historic" when it clearly should be "an historic". Who says that first "h"? It's just like hour! In fact, we should just treat "h" as a vowel! Okay, so it's not very related to the topic at hand, but I ran across it today and I wanted to punch my computer.

Juan Serrano [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

[put at-character here]Elaine Normandy

+1 for #11

Colin Colehour [PersonRank 10]

10 years ago #

#12 Use as much flash as possible on your web pages. It get's users excited to wait for content to load. It's like waiting for Christmas morning. You just never know what your going to get.

#13 Use more horizontal space in your web pages. Users just LOVE to scroll a few pages to the right to continue reading your article.

blah [PersonRank 1]

10 years ago #

Those rules are utter crap. Bad joke.

David Mulder [PersonRank 10]

10 years ago #

Can't disagree (or agree) with 8 (about the pdf files), pdf files do have quite a number of advantages, the only problem is if the user is using a program like adobe reader to open them. (Rather use alternatives like foxit for windows and the firefox pdf plugin for mac)

Aside from that a pretty good post I guess...

mystery guy [PersonRank 1]

10 years ago #

this is plain stupid.
websites dont hurt people – people hurt people.

mystery guy [PersonRank 1]

10 years ago #

[put at-character here]colin – #12 and in addition the cpu is finally able to show its potential once in a while

Roger Browne [PersonRank 10]

10 years ago #

Also: if visitors arrive from a search engine, redirect them to your home page so that they can enjoy the total experience. After all, if you had a shop you wouldn't allow them to go straight to the underwear counter without passing the advertising around the front door.

Jérôme Flipo [PersonRank 10]

10 years ago #

Blogoscoped is the textual XKCD.

Jérôme Flipo [PersonRank 10]

10 years ago #

# 14 Prefer image to plain text for buttons, links, captions, etc. It helps you protect your content from copy-past thieves, and force your readers to learn your text by heart before writing a reference to it.

# 15 Always display an expandable ad banner below your website header: your visitors will trigger a pretty animation that moves half the page up/down when mouse-hovering the banner inadvertently (e.g lemonde.fr). The effect is likely to occur 5 times per visit per page: it's very engaging for users, who often come back just for those animations.

Bryan [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

Another Tip:
Use RSS

Concerned of Kensington [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

I laughed a lot, then laughed some more at the comments from the [personal attack removed] who didn't get it.

Anant Shrivastava [PersonRank 1]

10 years ago #

+1 for 11

and i am ROFL..........................

[signature removed]

macbeach [PersonRank 6]

10 years ago #

One little error:

On Columbo programs they almost ALWAYS showed you who the murderer was in advance. The only surprise in the show was figuring out what mistake he/she made that would get them caught.

excentric [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

It amazes me how many people don't understand satire/sarcasm. I regularly read a site that loves number six. Fortunately, there is a 'print' button on the page that shows you the entire article in one go. It's still annoying, though.

Omnivorous [PersonRank 1]

10 years ago #

#16: Pre-load audio and video ... because nothing shocks me out of a stupor at 3 a.m. like head-banger music or your streaming audio pitch. It also awakens the cat and has your family wondering what caused the sudden cacaphony.

Neil Fraser [PersonRank 1]

10 years ago #

#17: Put a Reset button next to the Submit button on every form. Most users need to clear their text several times during the course of filling out a form. Doing so manually is labour-intensive so they will thank you for adding a Reset button.. As a bonus, they will enjoy the occasions when they hit the wrong button after completing the form since that will give them a chance to write another draft.

rmmfl [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

Ya know it's funny but my website built by me for my self-owned company pretty much does, works, looks and behaves as you describe. I figured it all by myself after being around the web (and the multitude of crappy sites out there) for about 20 years. Al lot of your pointers are basically just reiterations of effective advertising principles that media companies charge you out the wazoo for LOL. Good Job.

pkchukiss [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

You need to work on your sarcasm, it isn't quite apparent. More effort is needed when it's being done in text versus speech, since the latter can be detected through deliberate intonation.

But otherwise, a good article.

Eswar [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

I enjoyed reading the article, nice one.

[Anonymous] [PersonRank 4]

10 years ago #

Funny how many people didn't get that the writer was being sarcastic – even after reading the many obviously horrible practices mentioned – LOL!!

Ianf [PersonRank 10]

10 years ago #

Also, error in title, any kid will tell ya they are spelled Rulz.

Matchu [PersonRank 0]

10 years ago #

Haha, good, someone already beat me to the punch.

Yeah, every single Columbo starts with the murder being committed, and how that character tries to cover it up and make it the "perfect" murder.

This thread is locked as it's old... but you can create a new thread in the forum. 

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